He left as he had come. In the rain. Cold. Confused. Unhappy. There was only one difference. He knew the answer. It was no. Things had spiraled out of control. From the time he had opened that door until the point of leaving the air had been filled with stifling tension. All conversations were defensive. There was no we addressed but me reigned supreme. Walls were put up that were insurmountable.
Handing back the key he avoided eye contact. His lips quivered uncontrollably. He forced his teeth to bite down keeping them still. The last straw had broken the camel's back it seemed. As he walked back to the bus terminus, he ran through the months which had past. They had been almost perfect. The time they spent had been like a dream. Their relationship was void of bullshit. But misunderstood words and gestures and an inability to defuse the issue had been the death of this beautiful romance.
Just like before he blamed himself. Gritting his teeth he ran through the scenario in his mind and what he would have done differently. What do women want he thought and what wasn't he getting? The rain had stopped and he had been soaked through and through. It didn't matter. He didn't care. he wished he didn't have to leave. He was drawn in by her. That hadn't change. He still wanted her. He needed her. He loved her.
There was no point in trying to sort it out now. Words had left them both. They had agreed to separate. In his mind, it had to be temporary. It had to be. He knew she was the one. He had been in relationships before. Many. None felt like this. None felt as good. He could let down his guard around her. No holding his breath or even adjusting his personality one bit was needed. They talked openly and he wanted that. No, he needed that in his life.
He decided that he would choose not to let her go. He had made bad decisions in his life. He had ended relationships that were considered good. He had to live with that. Hearts had been hurt including his. Words had been said that could not be taken back. Regrets that haunted him and had played tricks on his future decisions. "My choices make me who I am and whether or not they were good or bad decisions I am who I am because of them", he thought. "I won't make the mistake of giving up on us without resistance. I refuse to walk away from her without trying. Some things are worth the struggle to preserve. My love may not be enough but whatever else is needed to cause her to realize I am for her in every way I will find it".
As the thought echoed in the farthest orifice of his mind a voice came over the intercom of the bus' arrival at his destination. His head was clear, at least clearer than he had been in days. His resolution was clear. Get her to understand her value to him and show her that no matter how long it took he would be there for her. He would be faithful to them and their future. He just had to let her see they were beautiful together. Fresh hope filled his heart, a new focus came to his mind and a smile to his face.
