Confused

"I'm leaving you. It's over." 

His heart came to lodge in his throat as it pounded in hard beats. 

Why? Why?

Just three days ago they had been so happy he thought. If she wasn't happy why was she laughing, smiling, holding his hand. 

"There is no spark there anymore."

He stood in disbelief which even days later still hadn't changed.  His mind ran wild with thoughts. Had she found someone? Was this a cruel trick?

She had left without saying much. Left with so many questions unanswered. She said she would call him and she wouldn't answer if he tried.

Why?

He didn't know what to do or think. With all these crazy ideas running through his head and his soul torn to bits by the loss of his love, his true love, his one love, all he was sure of is that he's .....

CONFUSED

Image by http://heroinjunkie.blogspot.ca/2011/12/letter-to-me.html

Being "comfortable" in a relationship

Let me paint a picture for you. You just started dating and you want to make the best impression possible. The three dates with the sane person have gone awesomely.  You decide to cook them a meal and make the evening a more intimate affair. 

The table is set and ready with the finest cutlery you own. The chicken is ready and the side dishes almost done. You buy the most expensive wine. You even went as far as vacuuming even though you did three days ago. 

Dinner is ready so you hurry to the bathroom to have a hot shower and put on some new fragrance that you went out of your way to buy.
Fast forward past the date. It went well. He or she was impressed and your mission is accomplished. Things continue to move along the same lines and you decide to become a couple. You are ecstatic.
Again move forward a year and you're still together.  Do you still do those special things you use to for him or her or are you now comfortable?
Don't get me wrong. Its okay to be comfortable. You found someone who you love and you feel empowered and more fulfilled with them in your life. When I say comfortable, I mean being so relaxed that you are in a relationship that you take for granted that a relationship is an organism that needs to be fed and cared for. 
People will stop doing those special things for their loved ones like in the scenario before. In my opinion, the things done at the beginning should be done right through a relationship. Giving gifts and things like that may change in complexity and taste but it should always be ongoing. 
Do you send your significant other a text message or buy an unexpected gift to let them know you're thinking about them? Sometimes all failing relationships need is a nudge. Just like a dog don't feed it and it will die.
In my experience I have missed the signs of this comfort many times. Why you say? Because it seemed we were both on the same page as far as being comfy. We both said we didn't want to go out or we both stopped doing things that drew us together in the first place.  No one was putting out an effort.  A relationship dies because people allow it even if they don't intentionally mean to. To sum it up never start taking each other for granted.

What are your thoughts on being comfortable?

                                 

Emotions

He kneeled in the tub and let the hot water beat his back. It brought seering heat to his back as it was hot water with no mixture of cold. He imagined the water beating through him and taking with it all the pain he felt, the confusion, the sadness, the anger. he wished they would all come out of him in black drops as if he had been scoured like a dirty pot. But that was just a wish. His reality was very different.

He got out the shower and seemed to forget where he was. Dripping, he walked towards the bed. Turning and flopping on the bed he looked up at the roof. Where did it all go wrong? He missed her. He missed what they had.   He made mistakes. Mistakes that didn't have any room for forgiveness.  He made the mistake of thinking she wasn't a jealous person breaking his lifetime saying that all women are jealous.

He was found guilty of choosing another over the one he loved. Circumstances lead to this and he was convicted of his crime through separation of heart strings from his beloved.  His body had started to dry but his face was wet. He knew she was gone. He knew even if she came back it would never be the same.

The alarm went off. He had an hour to get to work. He took a deep breath and dragged on his clothes. Being front line in a store didn't give any room for frowns or blank expressions even.  He would be back in twelve hours to sit again in his pity.

Daydreaming

I woke up to the warmth of her lips on the back of my neck. I smiled because I knew it was the start of a good day. The smell of coffee told me she had been up for a while. The sun peaked through the window as I rolled over excited to start the day we had planned. Even Einstein was running in circles from anticipation.

It was the middle of summer and we both had taken the day off to do nothing more than spend time together with our destination not set and the mandatory requirement of it being in wide open spaces. Some place where the only sounds other than our voices would come from the wind in the trees or Einstein barking at a squirrel.


As always, talks are both filled with laughter and serious issues. Conversations of plans to be intertwined in each others life as our hands were as we walked along the path. Even in moments of silence our sense of touch communicates our feelings. 
 
I cant help but stare at her from head to toe. I run my hand through her locks that protects a beautiful mind. I smile for the umpteenth time. I am happy. As the day slowly turns night, Einstein leads the way home. Time spent was good and I look forward to time away with her soon....

Inspired by my girlfriend.


Dog's name changed to protect the innocent